The Garden Was Never Eden
This project is a self-portrait expressed through analogue photography, rooted in Jung’s concept of midlife individuation. Using different analogue cameras and processes, I am exploring distinct facets of the self; working instinctively at first, then developing ideas through reflection. Each camera becomes a tool for dialogue between conscious and unconscious, revealing personal truths.
The use of analogue is both a return to hands-on, material processes and a resistance to the perfection and disembodiment of digital and AI-generated imagery. The photographs remain physical from exposure to print, celebrating imperfection, trace and collaboration with the apparatus.
Themes include the value of presence, the unraveling of an inherited Christian faith, time-bound pagan ritual as secular longing, the garden as contested sanctuary, and a consideration of non-religious meaning-makers (beauty, law, morality) as worthy of reverence. These themes reflect my changing beliefs and shifting worldview at this point in life, each one revealing a different aspect of who I am becoming. Together, they form a self-portrait not of appearance, but of inner landscape.
The final artefact will be a handmade photobook that affirms photography’s indexical power and asserts that now—the trace, the moment—is all we have.
1. Cyanotypes: the value of presence
Used to explore the physical trace and imprint of presence. An expression of valuing both the inherent beauty of an object and also the moment it touched the world. Size: A6
2. Voigtländer: the unravelling of an inherited Christian faith
A way to confront and release the inherited weight of childhood Christian faith using my father’s camera: revealing disillusionment, disbelief, incredulity, a bit of anger, maybe a new sense of exclusion. 120 film, square prints.
3. Polaroid lifts: secular ritual
Marking time through seasonal rituals as a secular search for meaning; ritual without belief, beauty without doctrine. Polaroid on A6.
4: Hasselblad: reclaiming the garden symbolism
An attempt to reclaim the garden from religious metaphor, which instead revealed unsettling truths about control, decay, and false sanctuaries. 120 film, these will be printed full bleed.
5: Ebony view camera:
A reverent but secular reflection on what still holds meaning (the rule of law, beauty). 5x4” contact prints, gold leaf. These are proof-of-concept mockups. There will be 6-8 ultimately.
Notes
This is work in progress. There will be more images made in each category; I’m probably half way through.
Possible alternate titles: On The Third Day Nothing Happened. Not That Kind Of Garden.